Modi Can't Swim

The last few days have been quite slow for India. As someone on Twitter explained; since Narendra Modi came to power in a bloodless coup, aided by Shekhar Gupta, through which he deposed Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi he has been idle and doing nothing. It’s not just that he overthrew the ‘Left-Honourable’ SoniaG’s govt but planted 282 of his own party members in the Lok Sabha. As Ashutosh and Somnath Bharti of AAP keep telling us, this is a “joke on our democracy”. Modi-Sarkar just got past the 100 day mark and all signs warn us of the dangers of his regime lasting another 3550 days and perhaps even beyond. Dark clouds hover over India as the Congress, AAP and our media rightly tell us. In these 100 days the world-renowned, respected, regarded, decorated media-man with the highest integrity-quotient quickly wrote a book to tell us how the 2014 coup changed India. Here’s Rajdeep Sardesai:

Readers should observe carefully how 46 years ago an American writer plagiarised Rajdeep’s cover-title for his book. As Kanchan Gupta points out, many will be reading Rajdeep’s book to understand how despite the most valiant attempts Rajdeep couldn’t stop a Hitler-like Modi from usurping power. India is in trouble as Barkha Dutt, S. Varadarajan (Varadabhai), Hartosh Bal keep telling us. We should have heeded their warnings before May 2014. But as Markandeya Katju established earlier, 90% of Indians are fools. The other 10% are in Congress, AAP, “Sicko” parties, NDTV, CNN-IBN, TimesNow and in Bengal and UP. Two days back NaMo addressed school kids in a brazen attempt to poison their minds with his communal agenda. He talked for so long that it left enough time for P. Malini, editor of The Love-Hindu, to run around thousands of schools in Bangalore to find this school where a kid wanted a bathroom-break during his speech:

See what I mean? Millions of students may have listened to the barbaric speech of Modi but real patriotism and nationalism lies in finding out that one school, one classroom and one kid that wants a bathroom-break. The 90% fools in India probably don’t understand the effort it takes to find this kid with his little finger up. You have to be awe-struck at the artistic skills that our media possesses. Stunning! Talking of which, I can give you some cues on how such skills are acquired and what kind of “genteel” teachers impart those. Here:

Now you understand? If you want your child to seek a career in journalism, find a school that has “genteel Bonginis” as teachers who use cuss words and your kid is on her way. Sunetra Chaudhury is living proof. I wonder how many kids in India who didn’t learn the word “shit” in Class-2 fell into Katju’s 90% and never made a mark in journalism or in any profession. So what in hell does Modi know about teachers or students? Idle and with nothing to do, he is indulging in bladder-rocking speeches which send students to the toilets (which may be non-existent in many schools). Rahul Gandhi, India’s greatest living intellectual, earlier pointed out that Modi went all the way to Japan to play drums. RG screamed “Modi talked about corruption” and is doing nothing. You can’t disagree. One hopes Modi will at least start some corruption soon. It’s boring in the media. It wasn’t limited to playing drums. Modi had tea in Japan with their PM when he himself is a tea-seller and tea is a lot cheaper in India. He was also feeding the fish in Japan when thousands are dying of hunger in India. All that was still tolerable but Modi went ahead and did the unthinkable:

You didn’t have anything better to gift? What were you thinking? Didn’t you have Shobha De’s books on philosophy? Couldn’t you have waited for Rajdeep’s book; fresh from the oven? There’s Barkha Dutt writing her book (she’s been writing for the last 15 years) “India’s fault-lines destroying Pakistan”. Even otherwise, why gift a book like Bhagwad Gita which is full of hate verses loved by those communal, extremist Hindus and millions of such others in the world? Modi did it knowing well that it would deeply hurt the sentiments of the “Seculars” which he cunningly hid from the public as the tweet-reports above indicate. Naturally, they asked the right questions to Modi:

Yeah! Why not the Quran or the Bible? Or the Torah? Why not genuine Indian books which were born in India? Why gift the Bhagwad Gita which was concocted and written in some corner of Azerbaijan? Appalling! NDTV is genuinely outraged at this undemocratic, anti-secular act of Modi gifting the Gita. They hired Paki-pimp Varadabhai to analyse the whole episode:

So Varadabhai (I fondly call him that) wrote a thesis “Modi's Gita Comment Was Dangerously Loaded”. This is true! Behind the act of gifting the Gita and that “Seculars” comment, Modi clearly has some “Sudarshan Chakras” hidden under his half-sleeved Kurtas which he might unleash anytime at the helpless minorities in India. The evidence gathered by Varadabhai is unimpeachable. Varadabhai’s conclusion that Modi has not even read the Gita, let alone understand it, is worthy of the Padma Bhushan or at least a Pulitzer from his home country. Kudos to the pimps at NDTV! Oh by the way, Modi is not the only one who has never read or understood the Gita. We have some others in the same category who were ranting against Varadabhai:

The above two are media-friendly people so their ignorance of the Gita or Modi’s ignorance of it has to be even more shocking. They deserve our severe condemnation for questioning Varadabhai and indirectly his drug-vehicle NDTV. And what does it say about other hate-mongers who want to exploit this act of Modi with their versions of ads in promoting the Gita?

Those who created this ad cleverly avoided adding Modi’s secret mantra: “Utterly butterly commoonal – Amul”! Doesn’t matter; we all know what’s going on behind that 56-inch chest. 100 days already wasted and many more will be wasted sinking India. Although the Congress, NDTV, TimesNow and other Sickos complain about Modi doing nothing they missed some signals he had given before the May 16 coup. They rightly observe he has done nothing and is still doing nothing. Were they sleeping for the last 14 years when he was doing nothing? I wonder how all the intellectuals in these groups missed Modi’s accidental confession. Here’s his candid admission on a TV show (0.59 mins):

So what’s the big fuss about? Modi secretly let out that he deserves no credit for Gujarat’s progress or development. He let out that he has no work and does no work for the govt. So why are they shocked now? Modi is only doing what he has been doing for the last 14 years – NOTHING! It’s only the Congress and our media folks who missed that and discovered it too late. We in Gujarat discovered it long back – that Modi does nothing. And we kept voting him because we belong in the 90% group of Katju unlike the Congis, NDTV or Varadabhai.

I’m in a generous mood, though, and will do the Congis and our MSM a good turn. I will remind them of how Modi employs certain “black magic” tricks frequently. I quote from an earlier post: “When Narendra Modi inaugurated the Sabarmati River front in Ahmedabad he took a boat ride. Strong winds blew off his cap which fell some 50 feet away from the boat on the water. An unperturbed Modi just got off the boat, walked on water, retrieved his cap and walked back to the boat”. Modi has been giving all the signs that he will indulge in such black-magic again in the next few months. And when he does, you can expect the headlines from our media: “Modi Can’t Swim”. Shame on him, no?