Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself. - Mark Twain.
Sure, Mark Twain meant the American Congress, the equivalent of
parliament but then I’m learning to spin and in our context I’m also starting
to think he meant India’s Congress party. It’s because I can’t think of
anything else to describe why three idiots from the Congress landed in
Ahmedabad on June 13, 2012. P. Chidambaram, Salman Khurshid and Ambika Soni
landed in Ahmedabad (Gujarat) supposedly to boast of the UPA’s achievements in
the last 8 years. The other undisclosed agenda was to challenge the
achievements of Gujarat under Narendra Modi. They came too soon! Elections are
still some months away.
And then talk about bad luck and bad timing. On a day when some of the
national media too landed up in Ahmedabad the main story on all news channels
was that of the Presidential election circus. Who screwed them? It was one of
their own alliance team – Mamata Banerjee and Mulayam Singh, who snubbed Sonia
Gandhi with their choices for President. That’s for the politics bit. The three
wise kings were not about to talk to their subjects in Gujarat but to their ‘Inner-wheel’
club called the media.
Ambika Soni, the I&B minister, who is known to arm-twist media
outlets (according to Aditya Sinha of DNA) made it abundantly clear to the
folks in the theatre: “Ask the questions you were supposed to ask”. Of course,
that’s like parents of students telling teachers to stick to the syllabus. So
here are some highlights:
Salman Khurshid was unexpectedly asked about the Supreme Court refusal
to stay the sub-quota for muslims which
was earlier struck down by the Andhra High Court, which SK had earlier made an
election bomb in UP, which was earlier criticised all around, which was earlier….
This was the Law Minister’s response: "Vacation benches tend to be
conservative. We thought we will get relief but it did not happen. It happens
at times... when the court reopens it will go to the regular bench where the
matter will be heard before we get a final answer”. Oh okay, so vacation
benches are conservative. I wonder what regular benches of SC would be like –
Fascists or Secularists? So now you know when to go to the SC and what kind of
bench for the verdict you want.
When a reporter persisted with his question on Gujarat’s development it
was left to P. Chidambaram to answer. PC accepted the Gujarat development story
but wanted to let the world know that the Centre had provided great help for
the cause. What he doesn’t mention though is that much of the Centre’s
resources to Gujarat comes from its own contributions and do not amount to
doles given out to some other states. Read more at DeshGujarat.
And Ambika Soni had only one thing to talk about – Malnutrition. That malnutrition
in Gujarat was higher than the national average. Point made. But she forgot to
mention what Gujarat was doing about it. Worse, she forgot to mention what the
Centre was doing about it. In a speech in Mumbai recently Narendra Modi had
pointed out that the PM’s three year report about UPA-2 didn’t have any mention
of malnutrition in women and children although he considered it a ‘national
shame’. Jainarayan Vyas, minister in Gujarat, has challenged the figures quoted
by Soni but malnutrition is hardly a matter of numbers game. Whether in Gujarat
or the country it is a shame indeed.
Now, you would have thought that after the grand show of the three
kings in Ahmedabad the front pages of Ahmedabad would be flooded with the blast
they had. Well, instead the Times of India front page story today, the day
after, is “It’s advantage Modi in Gujarat’s Kurukushetra”. That says a lot for the lightning media
campaign of the three idiots. Worse, the TOI Ahmedabad edition doesn’t have a
single word of this press meet on its front page.
Reminds me of the question the teacher asked the class: “Who were the
three kings who brought peace and happiness....?” A thoughtful little Johny
responded: “Smo-King, Drin-King and F**-King”. I don’t know what the
three idiots or their party smoke or drink but I would certainly hope they get to their jobs seriously and stop ‘F**king’
Gujarat and the nation.
It was pathetic to see them helpless there in the press meet.... Couldnt they have met these reporters directly in Delhi? Why travel all the way to Ahmedabad & sit in a room with reporters?
ReplyDeletePC is a man sweet tongued but silly hearted. His fleecing of the national opulence will be like classic frog boiling (when the frog is put into the hot water it will jump and escape but if put in cool water and afire underneath, by the time it understands it would be boiled) such a super calibrated otherwise how can he could be a central powerful minister when he is defeated in the previous election?
ReplyDeleteThen Salman Kurshid he is equally good for nothing next to Gulam Nabi and his top height of absurdity came to light when he passed a bill for Hindu divorce woman to become eligible even the ancestral property to the extent of fifty percent. When a murderer was trialed the court opined, that the accused belonged to SC and no SC did come forward to adduce witness and hence his capital punishment was reduced to life but when they pass a bill more to the point of majority, not even a single was in the cabinet from Hindu, obviously the Hindus of cong are not Hindus since they are famous to lick her feet else face jagan episode thus slaves sans individuality.
Ambika Soni, again as old habits die hard for immune to sing the cong song regardless of the merit for her own survival. They conveniently ignored what they failed but plot the sin at others' door to misguide the common which the corrupt cong is doing the round for the past six decades and keep the common as they were so as to vote them repeatedly to loot the nation with impunity. The corrupt Sonia cong is fleecing the nation's blood with straw and we have become mute spectators. Two leaders Modi and Nitish are doing a selfless service but the corrupt cong wants to extent their tentacles there too and there are local leaders maimed to exploit to sing in tune with them and doing the damage to their resopective states
The travel to Ahmedabad, by this secular trio (One Hindu [namesake], one Muslim and one Christian [hindu named]) was to bring out the misdeeds of the terrible rule in Guj. It was supposed to make a secular statement against the dreaded Modi inspired Hindutva in Guj.
ReplyDeleteToo happy that it fizzled out. People are much mature than 20 yrs ago.
Oh boy. This was seriously one of the best tongue-in-cheek posts that I have read there. I was laughing from the Mark Twain's quote till the Three Kings episode. And packs in enough information as well. I hope you continue the humour side and make political reporting as much as fun as informative.
ReplyDeleteWhat was this Trimurthis supposed to signify? CONgi brand of Secularism? All gas and symbolism and no stuff. As you caught Salman Khurshid, it is a very dangerous stuff...Vacation Bench tending to be conservative. What it says is more than what he said, isn't it? It is casting aspersion on the very system. Did this dud inadvertently blurt out some truth here?
ReplyDeleteThis unsubstantiated malnutrition debate is bandied about by UPA and their cahoots - I remember reading some Journos on twitter talking about it. But when asked to substantiate with data, vanished promising to revert. 1st March was the date a "famous" author-Journo talked about it - as a teaser to his next day tweet which never came about. After accusing of being Riot Spearhead which was systematically busted by rulings after rulings by courts, they have started on this malnutrition agenda.
PC was the best. On one hand they say everything is a myth and then lays claim to Gujarat Achievements saying "UPA is as much responsible for all the Achievements)- disoriented. Surprised Khurshid breached the threshold to even feature here on Mediacrooks :-)
Superb piece
I just saw this IndiRank box on my right - 85/100 Great job... Sure it would hit the perfect number :-)
I disagree sir with all due respect with your last line. They are F*****g nation but Modi has been riding their As**es for long and hence this charade! They try too hard to mimick the who** who fakes orgasm to please client but in this case they just dont know what they are faking!
ReplyDeleteHello Ravi, Thanks for this hilarious 3-Idiots piece. You began with Mark Twain's quote and did justice to the piece by analyzing the politics and hidden agenda. Falling flat on face is not new to Congress. It is in tune with their political philosophy of " Gire Toh Bhee Taang Uper".What the current crop of Congies are doing is nothing but carrying on the great tradition of " Glorifying Garbage" - established by Gandhi-Nehru clan. 3 Cheers to the Idiots, and 300 Cheers to you. Continue the good work please. KRV
ReplyDeleteCourtesy their high command, every congi is forced to act like idiot, even if they happen to be smart on intelligent people! If you hear these idiots on TV, you would wonder how come such patehtic creatures, whose constituencies and states ruled by them are worst among indians state can talk about others! And icing on cake is their constant reference to 6 years of NDA rule, despite being in power for 8 years now. So when a question is asked to idiots, they start twist and eventally point towards 6 years of NDA rule whenever they are caught with their pants down in open
ReplyDeleteMan ! its a 2 pronged attack today !! Ravi( mediacrooks) and sandeep( sandeepweb.com).. we,the readers are having a day ! more power to your pen ( or to say, fingers )
ReplyDeleteOh, they surely came as three Musketeers at the behest of their High Command(er) Ma'am G to blast NaMo's G, but turned into three Idiots, like you said, after setting foot there. One hopes, after fleeing out they would turn into the three Monkeys of Mahatma G!
ReplyDeleteHistory books claim that Congress was responsible for our winning freedom from foreign rule. Going by their current behavior, anyone would doubt if the claims are true. They are literally killing the civilization.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree man .. also these 3 idiots should answer one question "Why the hell other states are not developing with a same rate as of Gujarat then? Center must be providing funds to every state!!"
ReplyDelete