Sanjay Dutt & The Bendy Bananas

Ever seen a straight Banana? No? I found a rare one in the pic. Next time you buy bananas try and find one without a curve. Great democracies are known not just for the Constitution or Independence but for their justice systems and their citizens to accept that justice system. Last year Rajat Gupta was sentenced to two years in prison for an insider trading racket in the US. Tears were flowing like rivers in the Indian media. The court did tell Gupta he may have done a lot of good things but it has no option to sentence him for his crime. Unless he wins an appeal Gupta will indeed go to prison. There’s the case of former British MP Jeffrey Archer. He is also a very successful writer whose books have sold over 200 million copies. In 2001 he was sentenced to four years in prison for perjury in a 1987 libel case which he won. Archer served two years before being released and had returned the 5Lakh Pounds he had won in the libel case, with interest. To say that both these gentlemen are celebrities would be an understatement.

It is, therefore, not surprising that in a growing Democracy like India there are “Bendy Bananas” in the form of celebrities who are hell bent in turning India into a Banana republic. Theirs is the loudest clamour for mercy and pardon to Sanjay Dutt for his crime and 5-year sentence. Over the last decade the justice system in India has rotted along with other democratic institutions. In less than 24 hours of the Supreme Court verdict on SD a former judge Markandey Katju wrote an open letter to the Governor of Maharashtra to pardon Sanjay Dutt because he has suffered enough for the last 20 years. By that he means the 20 years it took to reach a final verdict in the Bombay blasts of 1993. Justice Katju… Er… let me correct that, it should be “Private Citizen Katju” (PCK), since he claims all his opinions now are as a private citizen and not as a former Justice or his current position as PCI Chairman. I wonder if PCK had even taken the trouble of reading the judgement before he appealed for a pardon. Having sent off that appeal PCK was on all media channels defending his worthless act and even walking off angrily from TV discussions. This is what PCK wrote in his appeal:

“The power of pardon under Article 161 by the Constitution is different from the judicial power. The Governor/President can grant pardon or reduce the sentence of the Court, even if a minimum is prescribed. Hence there is no doubt that the Governor can grant pardon/reduce the sentence”.

And among other things PCK also writes:

“The event happen in 1993 i.e. 20 years ago. During this period Sanjay suffered a lot, and had a cloud hovering over his head throughout. He had to undergo various tribulations and indignities during this period. He had to go to Court often, he had to take the permission of the Court for foreign shootings, he could not get bank loans, etc… Sanjay in this period of 20 years has through his film revived the memory of Mahatma Gandhi and the message of Gandhiji, the father of the nation”.

Ever read anything more idiotic and silly? But that was enough to send a whole lot of other parliamentarians and Congress members to scream “pardon”. Even legal-bimbos were talking about appealing to the Maharashtra Governor for the pardon. This is apart from the whole Bollywood mafia which feels Sanjay Dutt is a victim, innocent, made a foolish mistake, is a kind-hearted soul. I’m sure SD is all that to his friends and people who know him. The law is not in the movie-making business. This is what his friends and PCK don’t wish to acknowledge. And how did SD struggle and suffer for 20 years? Oh well, if you didn’t know, he made over 90 movies during this 20 year period. At a miserly average of 50 Lakhs per movie that would be 45 Crores! Super stars in Bollywood are paid in crores not lakhs though. I wonder why SD even needed bank loans. Never mind!

PCK is foolish and even moronic to suggest that SD has revived the memory of Gandhiji. I am surprised this is the nonsense with which he appeals for pardon (or maybe I shouldn’t be surprised anymore). Even though this moronic suggestion has to be laughed at and dismissed, PCK should know that the message of a movie is essentially a message of the Director and not the actors. The actors just play the part. It is the Director who tells the story through his vision and imagination. Never mind that. If indeed someone has made Gandhi popular across the world then it has to be Ben Kingsley. He won an Oscar award for that role so maybe according to PCK Kingsley should be provided complete and permanent immunity from any prosecution for any crime for a lifetime. And this comes from PCK, a man who claims he hasn’t seen a movie in 40 years (how can you possibly be an Indian if you haven’t seen movies for 40 years? For that alone PCK should be prosecuted) and has never met SD.

The media picked up the nonsense of PCK and peddled it all through the last three days. Naturally, the editors everywhere didn’t even bother to check if what PCK was saying was really factual or had any merit. They never checked if a Governor did indeed have the power to pardon SD. Well, in the movie I saw last evening (State of Play) the editor has a sign on her desk that says “Never trust an editor”. If you look at the headline and tweet by NDTV you would be led to believe SD was prosecuted for just having a small, illegal gun for self-defence. I guess by now everyone knows that SD ferried, possessed and latter destroyed weapons enough to start an attack quite similar to 26/11. He also had a large cache of cartridges and grenades. This is how our Bendy Bananas twist the story. But that isn’t important. 

The SC has taken everything into account and pronounced its judgement. Does the Governor really have power under Article 161 to pardon SD’s crime? Here’s what Mahesh Jethmalani, another prominent lawyer, had to say:

"While it is the personal prerogative of any citizen of this country to campaign for a pardon for any convict -notwithstanding the dubious company the convict might have kept, both before and after the cataclysmic events that had shaken Bombay on 12th March, 1993, citizens are entitled to expect a modicum of elementary homework at least by such distinguished personalities as Messrs Katju, Ashwini Kumar and Manish Tiwari… The executive power of the state government does not extend to matters enumerated in the Union list of the 7th Schedule of the Constitution of India. Entry 5 in the Union List consists of arms, firearms, ammunition and explosives. The Arms Act is a statute enacted by Parliament. The Governor's power of pardon under Article 161 of the Constitution of India, accordingly, does not extend to the sentence of any person convicted under the Arms Act”.

It’s really hard to find a “straight” banana; curves seem natural to this loveable fruit. Therefore, the European Union decided how much curve is acceptable and passed a “Bendy Banana” law in 1995. Good democracies are worried about how curved Bananas should be. The sinking ones are turning into Bananas themselves. It specifies, among other things, “minimum standards for specific quality classifications of bananas (Extra, Class I, Class II). Only Extra class bananas have to comply fully with the shape specifications. Class II bananas, for instance are permitted to have "defects of shape"; Class I bananas are permitted only "slight defects of shape". Hmm! You see, we Class-2 bananas are extended some latitude for our ignorance and curves because we aren’t judges and celebrities. What about the Class-1 bananas? They are permitted only “slight” defects but in India these celebrities or “Bendy Bananas” seem to twist and grind the law out of shape all the time. The bigger the celebrity the bigger the twists and curves it seems. I have to agree with what the apple says to one such very “Bendy Banana” whose “opinions” are starting to stink.

Spuriosity Killed The Katju

The old proverb about cats and curiosity has been around since Shakespearean times. It was used in a different form then and only in early 20th century has it come to be used in its current form. It is meant to warn of the dangers of unnecessary investigation and crossing certain lines. The first known usage of the proverb in a newspaper was on March 4, 1916 in The Washington Post as it quoted a report from the NewYork World titled “Four Departments of NewYork City Government Summoned to Rescue Feline”. Here’s how the story ran:

So poor Blackie died! In this day and age, though, curiosity is encouraged and doesn’t kill all that much. It’s spuriousity that kills. That’s right, especially when it comes to airing views in newspapers and on TV supported, not by facts, but by spurious theories. Justice Katju (JK) does cross the line of indecency when he frequently attacks Narendra Modi with spurious theories, analogies and untruths. In response to JK’s latest spurious piece in The Hindu I had written “Justice for 10000 killed in Gujarat 2002”. I had put him in the same basket as Aakar Patel and Ram Guha. I am often advised by good friends and well-wishers that JK is best ignored. You see, to ignore JK is like a woman mistaking a lump on the breast for a boil. Aakar Patel and Ram Guha are boils and can be ignored as they go away in some time. JK is no boil, he’s a lump that can turn out cancerous because he was a judge in the SC and still holds a statutory office. Aakar and Guha are, at best, street hawkers (my apologies to sincere, hard-working hawkers). This is the reason Arun Jaitley chose not to ignore him and provided one of the most stinging responses ever seen in writing from a politician.

I am a man who not only supports free speech but absolute free speech. The morons who believe JK is merely exercising his right to free speech are mistaken. He has been given the opportunity to speak at various functions and write in various newspapers more because he’s the PCI chairman at not because he’s a former judge or individual of great wisdom. They also do not ask if JK’s writings and utterances are motivated. And he uses these opportunities to propagate his spuriousity. Let’s just go through a few samples.

Despite being a judge who would be expected to care for facts JK still chose to peddle fake and unverified numbers of Muslims killed in Gujarat 2002 in his article. And, of course, he makes readers believe only Muslims were killed and not Hindus. If this is not political tinkering, what is? On February 18 in a chat with Rahul Kanwal and Meenakshi Lekhi on Headlines Today JK used more spurious nonsense to defend himself. He cited women’s bellies being slashed and ripped and burnt. This gory tale doesn’t come from anywhere but appears to be from Arundhati Roy’s wonder world of fiction. I had quoted the whole fake story of Suzy Roy in “SC exposes media’s clean shit” after the SC didn’t accept Zakia Jafri’s petition against Modi. For her bogus story in Outlook magazine, Arundhati had apologised but JK uses similar stories without an iota of evidence. Is he fit to be the PCI chairman? When told that Modi has been elected by people, JK nonchalantly says “we all know how elections are won”. Is he suggesting all elections in India are also spurious or is it only when it comes to Modi? The only major case of election-fraud in a court is not related to Modi but to P. Chidambaram.

In addition to the bellies-ripped story, JK also cites the killing of Ehsan Jafri as a planned attack. It took Meenakshi Lekhi to point out to him that leading the killers of Jafri was not a BJP man but a Congress MLA called Meghsingh Chaudhary. To all the criticism JK grandly claims that he has not only criticised BJP but also Congress. In support of this argument, the moron claims he criticised Maharashtra CM Prithviraj Chavan. Alright, but what was the criticism for? Corruption? Irrigation scam? Nope! The criticism was for 800 journalists being attacked by policemen for undertaking some protest. Does it take anyone to tell this idiot that speaking up for journalists’ rights is part of his job and can’t be compared to wanton and unprovoked criticism of Narendra Modi or any other CM? He is supposed to be a former judge but cannot see logic as clear as daylight. Again, this is quite a spurious defence. Moreover, he threatens Chavan with dismissal under Article 356. Jaitley rightly asks the question if the guy is bestowed with such powers. It’s, unfortunately, JK who has been acting like Hitler.

I doubt anyone in the media or any observer would deny that the campaign against Modi was the biggest witch-hunt in India. The hunters who participated benefited financially, in position and in influence. There is no reason not to criticise Modi but it is the proportions and usage of spurious information and analogies that make JK look more like Teesta Setalvad or Mallika Sarabhai. I wonder if he also dances as Mallika does. I have no hesitation in calling JK a potentially dangerous lump on the breast for more reasons. In his interview with TimesNow Jaitley mentioned how as Law Minister he had experienced senior judges on the verge of retirement clamouring for post-retirement postings. He also mentioned that some judgements just around the pre-retirement phase could be affected by such lust. With his open political campaign that is intended to benefit the Congress party, JK now has people wondering about the conduct and motives of judges themselves. By his conduct and utterances JK has pushed people into wondering if judges are above political persuasions when they are in office. This is the dangerous lump on the breast that cannot be ignored. In my previous post I have not attributed any motives to JK’s biased, prejudiced and spurious articles and nor have any of his critics in the current episode. However, grapevine in Delhi is a big business and gossip and rumour are staple diet for journalists. How does JK explain this piece that appeared in the Sunday Guardian? Is this smoke without any fire?

The bimbos in our media who have been talking of freedom of speech have not asked JK a single question about this article. JK claims his articles and balderdash are written as a private citizen and not as PCI chairman. The Hindu article signs him off as former judge and PCI chairman and doesn’t anywhere carry a disclaimer stating these are his “personal” opinions as journals often do with controversial figures. Even JK’s Twitter account @KatjuPCI has PCI tagged to it. Is he tweeting as a private citizen or as PCI chairman? How does one know? Or is it a fake account? In which case he should have protested to Twitter. His profile also mentions his position and not that his tweets are personal opinions. In my earlier post on this topic I had wrongly mentioned JK has an opinion on everything under Pluto. No Mr. JK, it seems your favourite planet is Uranus.

For all the corruption and scams that the Congress has been mired in, JK doesn’t have much to say about it. His conduct and frequent outbursts and outrage does make one worry about the conduct of our judges. In recent times SC judges have received postings on various statutory bodies immediately on retirement. There isn’t any cooling period post retirement anymore. Meenakshi Lekhi pointed another important aspect of JK’s behaviour and political persuasions. With so much of bias and prejudice against the BJP, particularly Narendra Modi, how can a member of this party who has a complaint to be heard by the PCI chairman ever expect him to be fair and impartial? This alone is good enough reason for JK to resign or to be sacked.

The funniest part is that of all the people in the Congress party guess who rushes to defend JK? Yeah, it’s not just ironical but a good laugh. It’s Abhishek Singhvi, the man caught on camera in his chambers. Consequently, the SC Bar Association passed a resolution not to engage the services of Singhvi. There you go Mr. JK, a tainted lawyer is the only one to defend you and that says a lot, doesn’t it? Mind you, this Congress is the very same party that asked Anna Hazare to join politics if he wants to protest and criticise the govt or politicians. Anna is neither a former judge nor holds any statutory office. Yet, the Congress spokesman feels JK can keep mouthing nonsense and keep writing politically motivated articles.

The awful truth also is that without the “justice” tag, without the “PCI Chairman” tag and most of all, without the “anti-Modi” tag JK wouldn’t be allowed to write in the media. Not just writing, being anti-Modi is like a license to write with spurious analogies and information. This time everyone called JK’s bluff. It looks like the cats may survive their nine lives but spuriousity certainly killed the Katju.

Justice For 10000 Killed In Gujarat 2002

Aha! Now that I have got your attention with the 10000-killed number I guess I can spin some more. That’s like pulling out a number from the Worli Matka, isn’t it? For those who are new to the concept, Worli Matka was a major gambling racket operated by Ratan Khatri in Worli, Mumbai. Every evening Khatri would draw two sets of lucky cards from the pack. People who bet money on cards would either lose or lose. That’s true, people mostly lost and Khatri made a lot of money. There’s even a fun site called Matka.Com that educates people on the concept without money being involved. But since Khatri closed down a long time ago our media and others have carried forward his gambling concept. This is especially true for the number of Muslims killed in Gujarat 2002 riots. You must have heard numbers like 5000, 3000, 2000 while the official number was 1044 killed and around 223 missing. So, apart from the media, the latest one to use Matka figures and Matka logic is none other Justice Markandeya Katju (MK).

By now most of us have heard of MK’s opinions on almost everything under Pluto. And everyone is tired. So thankfully, like Aaakar Patel and Ram Guha, MK has chosen to “Focus”. And lately his focus is none other than Narendra Modi. He writes in the The Hindu an article called “All the perfumes of Arabia” on February 15. Now, I’m one of those who Katju categorises under 90% fools or idiots so I can’t figure out that title except that it must have to do with some fairy tales we usually associate with Arabian Nights. This time, it is nice little fairy tales about Narendra Modi. There is nothing new in what MK writes. So we will skip the usual rants about Modi and Gujarat and touch upon anything that sounds different. Like Shekhar Gupta who often runs into and chats with people at airports, railway stations and flights, MK starts with a conversation on a flight. Imagine the misfortune of his co-passenger. Let’s read the rant (edited excerpts in blue):

I was flying from Delhi to Bhopal recently. Sitting beside me was a Gujarati businessman. I asked him his opinion of Mr. Modi. He was all praise for him. I interjected and asked him about the killing of nearly 2,000 Muslims in 2002 in Gujarat. He replied that Muslims were always creating problems in Gujarat, but after 2002 they have been put in their place and there is peace since then in the State. I told him this is the peace of the graveyard, and peace can never last long unless it is coupled with justice. At this remark he took offence and changed his seat on the plane. Oh there you are! That Matka figure of 2000 comes in again. I’d have to say this co-passenger was a lucky guy indeed. He could get just get up and walk away to another seat. What if Katju moved in as my neighbour? Frankly, given his continuous outrage on everything and since the 90% can’t live with the 10%, I would definitely considering moving to a new residence which is far more difficult than changing seats on a plane. So MK is so obsessed he probably goes around asking every Gujju he runs into about Modi and then pounds him with his philosophy of justice. Just the other day I ran into a Supreme Court lawyer and asked him his opinion of Katju and he said… No, never mind! I can’t print that.

To call the killings of Muslims in 2002 a spontaneous reaction reminds one of Kristallnacht in Germany in November 1938, when the entire Jewish community in Germany was attacked, many killed, their synagogues burnt, shops vandalised after a German diplomat in Paris was shot dead by a Jewish youth whose family had been persecuted by the Nazis. It was claimed by the Nazi government that this was only a ‘spontaneous’ reaction, but in fact it was planned and executed by the Nazi authorities using fanatic mobs. This is probably the biggest blunder that MK has so far committed in print. The stupid analogy he draws seems to have been totally lost in his prejudiced head and thoughts. The closest that comes to the Nazi reaction he quotes for one single individual being killed is not Gujarat but Indira Gandhi. Because her Sikh guards killed IndiraG, thousands of Sikhs were brutally killed, homes burnt and families destroyed. I suppose Katju probably thinks the killing of one individual (IndiraG) caused a “spontaneous” reaction but burning and killing of 59 people in a train brought about a “planned” reaction. Sheer nonsense as his own example proves. If we apply his Nazi logic at all then it is the IndiraG murder that caused the Nazi reaction he talks about.

In terms of historical evolution, India is broadly a country of immigrants and consequently, it is a land of tremendous diversity. Hence, the only policy which can hold it together and put it on the path of progress is secularism — equal respect and treatment to all communities and sects. This was the policy of the great Emperor Akbar, which was followed by our founding fathers (Pandit Nehru and his colleagues) who gave us a secular Constitution. This is a pet theory of MK; India being a country of immigrants. Yeah right, most people know I am from Honduras. There’s no problem with the diversity, it existed even before and will exist after MK. The truth is, historically some immigrants came as refugees some came as invaders. Some invaders carried swords and some carried guns. Surely, the immigrants of the latter category didn’t come here singing “Kaho naa pyaar hai” did they? As for Nehru’s vision – China, NAM, Kashmir, USSR... less said the better. And no, the founding fathers (if they can be called that for an ancient country) didn’t insert the word “secular” into the constitution. It was inserted by IndiraG during Emergency. The secularism practiced by Nehru’s party is now prominent as pseudo-secularism.

So what’s new about the Gujarat and Modi story that is now floating in the media? First the media mafia started with the story of “Mass murderer, Hitler, Nazi, Fascist, Hero of Hatred, Maut Ka Saudagar” and FAILED. The more they ranted, the more the people backed Modi. Then having failed with that they showered scorn on Gujarat’s economic progress under Modi. They abused economic data to manipulate reports and show a bad picture. FAILED! Left with nothing, they have now come up with one single word mantra: “Malnutrition”. As MK says:

Questionable progress: Today, 48 per cent of Gujarati children are malnourished, which is a higher rate of malnourishment than the national average.

Like a box of parrots, Aakar Patel, Ram Guha, others and now MK, everyone in the media lately talks about “Malnutrition” in Gujarat. Even students who are called for debates are tutored to talk of “Malnutrition” in Gujarat. Funny huh? Malnutrition is a national problem and so too in Gujarat, maybe across the world in some countries. But where the other tags failed they are now into the “Malnutrition” song and dance routine. Here’s how their mundane rant has become and how foolish it really sounds:

Great roads in Gujarat:  Okay, but what about malnutrition?

Great infrastructure in Gujarat:  Okay, but what about malnutrition?

24X7 Power supply:  Okay, but what about malnutrition?

Water in Sabarmati:   Okay, but what about malnutrition?

Special incentives for girls:  Okay, okay, but what about malnutrition?

Crores of investments:   Yeah alright, but what about malnutrition?

Women can move safely:  Who cares? What about malnutrition?

Modi is not corrupt & incorruptible:  Corruption is normal, what about malnutrition?

Sex-determination tests banned:   Minor issue, what about malnutrition?

GDP growth over national average:  Fine, fine, what about malnutrition?

DoubleDigit Agri growth for years:  See the “larger” picture, what about malnutrition?

So, now that everything else has failed the last straw to clutch is the magic word called malnutrition. And I promise you, you will hear this word over and over again in the next one year. I can understand the agenda of the media mafia but considering MK is a lawman one would have expected a more logical and sensible approach with his criticism. Nothing like that! He too sounds like a parrot. So whether it’s 2000 or 3000 or 5000 killed as these magicians keep pulling out from their hats, what’s wrong if I pull out a Matka figure of 10000? For that matter, what’s wrong if I pulled out a figure of 1 lakh even? There are some newspapers and TV channels who are as good as a Matka. They provide the platform for the Matka logic and some writers are the cards.