Changing Lanes: Alternative Career Choices For Barkha Dutt

The transition from journalism to another career will be quite easy for Vir Sanghvi.  The tainted journalist was already writing on ‘food’ and a full-time career as a ‘foodie’ would be the obvious choice for him to change lanes. He has already taken a break, in Bangkok, to contemplate his choices.

Changing lanes, however, is a problem for Barkha Dutt. Especially in her current mood she is unlikely to think straight.  For all the self-righteous kicking and screaming in her own defence her credibility has been severely dented.  More so after her particularly outrageous and disgraceful self-defence on NDTV (November 30) for which I asked her channel to FIRE her. 

So out of concern for Ms.Dutt I spent some time pondering what could be the alternative career choices for her. This is, of course, unsolicited advice, but that is of no consequence since the lady is not known to listen to any kind of ‘wisdom’ so frequently delivered to her. And I have been careful to restrict myself to offering only 5 choices, just in case she decides to try all of them. (My fear was that if I had offered 10 she might have taken up all, damaging many more industries or domains.) So here goes:

1.       Teacher in a school for journalists: This would be an excellent choice since she will be able to tell aspiring journalists what NOT to do as a journalist and how lack of ethics did her in.  I must admit I had thought of it on my own but I find someone else had thought of it long back. Sushant Kumar’s advice in December 2008 can be read here.

2.       Spokesperson for Hurriyat Separatists:  Swapan Das Gupta mentions he jokingly taunts her being the “Voice Of Hurriyat”. I for one think he wasn’t really joking. So this is another choice. She can become a full-time spokeswoman for the Hurriyat. In any case she understands the separatists and their goals quite well and has spoken up for their plight on many occasions. Hurriyat’s gain could be our gain too. A true win-win for all. 

3.       Campaign Manager for Musharraf:  It was Musharraf’s suprise breakfast presser in 2001, hosted by Prannoy Roy, that helped launch NDTV in Pakistan. Since the Kargil war-criminal has recently launched his own political party she might just fit the bill as his campaign manager. She does love interviewing this guy and she knows a lot about Kargil too.

4.       As model for M.F. Hussain: Since moving to Qatar we haven’t heard or seen much of Hussain’s nude paintings. Obviously, with a lot of women in ‘Burqa’ he would have struck a lean patch in the inspiration department. Who better than Barkha to fill in that void for her friend? Relax, I am not suggesting nude modelling by any stretch of imagination.

5.       Waitress at Starbucks:  In my own bloated opinion this could well do the trick for Barkha. Let’s see – she is definitely a ‘STAR’ and who in the world knows more about ‘BUCKS’ than Barkha? This could really be a perfect FIT!

Many of us have had to change careers at some point on account of one reason or the other. And at this moment if there is someone who dearly needs more suggestions and offers it has to be Barkha Dutt. Do you have any more suggestions? Barkha could surely do with some help!

Update: Quite a few people called me up and asked "why not spokesperson for Congress (I)?" I have specifically excluded that since she is already doing that job.