Changing Lanes: Alternative Career Choices For Barkha Dutt

The transition from journalism to another career will be quite easy for Vir Sanghvi.  The tainted journalist was already writing on ‘food’ and a full-time career as a ‘foodie’ would be the obvious choice for him to change lanes. He has already taken a break, in Bangkok, to contemplate his choices.

Changing lanes, however, is a problem for Barkha Dutt. Especially in her current mood she is unlikely to think straight.  For all the self-righteous kicking and screaming in her own defence her credibility has been severely dented.  More so after her particularly outrageous and disgraceful self-defence on NDTV (November 30) for which I asked her channel to FIRE her. 

So out of concern for Ms.Dutt I spent some time pondering what could be the alternative career choices for her. This is, of course, unsolicited advice, but that is of no consequence since the lady is not known to listen to any kind of ‘wisdom’ so frequently delivered to her. And I have been careful to restrict myself to offering only 5 choices, just in case she decides to try all of them. (My fear was that if I had offered 10 she might have taken up all, damaging many more industries or domains.) So here goes:

1.       Teacher in a school for journalists: This would be an excellent choice since she will be able to tell aspiring journalists what NOT to do as a journalist and how lack of ethics did her in.  I must admit I had thought of it on my own but I find someone else had thought of it long back. Sushant Kumar’s advice in December 2008 can be read here.

2.       Spokesperson for Hurriyat Separatists:  Swapan Das Gupta mentions he jokingly taunts her being the “Voice Of Hurriyat”. I for one think he wasn’t really joking. So this is another choice. She can become a full-time spokeswoman for the Hurriyat. In any case she understands the separatists and their goals quite well and has spoken up for their plight on many occasions. Hurriyat’s gain could be our gain too. A true win-win for all. 

3.       Campaign Manager for Musharraf:  It was Musharraf’s suprise breakfast presser in 2001, hosted by Prannoy Roy, that helped launch NDTV in Pakistan. Since the Kargil war-criminal has recently launched his own political party she might just fit the bill as his campaign manager. She does love interviewing this guy and she knows a lot about Kargil too.

4.       As model for M.F. Hussain: Since moving to Qatar we haven’t heard or seen much of Hussain’s nude paintings. Obviously, with a lot of women in ‘Burqa’ he would have struck a lean patch in the inspiration department. Who better than Barkha to fill in that void for her friend? Relax, I am not suggesting nude modelling by any stretch of imagination.

5.       Waitress at Starbucks:  In my own bloated opinion this could well do the trick for Barkha. Let’s see – she is definitely a ‘STAR’ and who in the world knows more about ‘BUCKS’ than Barkha? This could really be a perfect FIT!

Many of us have had to change careers at some point on account of one reason or the other. And at this moment if there is someone who dearly needs more suggestions and offers it has to be Barkha Dutt. Do you have any more suggestions? Barkha could surely do with some help!

Update: Quite a few people called me up and asked "why not spokesperson for Congress (I)?" I have specifically excluded that since she is already doing that job.

Shashi Tharoor: The new ‘happy-tongue’ hypocrite - Secularism means “don’t offend muslims”

Shashi Tharoor, the former UN diplomat and current minister with the Indian government has now become famous for his ‘happy-tongue’ utterances. Pulled up for his “Nehru’s running commentary….” remark and then again for his “Saudi Arabia interlocutor” shot the poor man must be on guard. This is unfortunate as whatever he said was neither harmful nor worth all the noise the media and the opposition parties made. In fact he is a very erudite, scholarly and articulate person. Qualities that we would like to see in all our politicians.

However, this latest smooth-talking Congress minister, is the latest in the long line of Congressmen who believe Secularism means not offending muslims, but all other communities can be offended under freedom of speech rights. He reveals this philosophy in a debate with Christopher Hitchens (Author: God Is Not Great) some years back. The debates can be viewed here, here, here and here.

1. In the first instance Tharoor narrates a story carried in a Bangalore newspaper about a boy called Mohammad, an “idiot-boy” (No reference or connection to the Prophet as Tharoor confirms) This seemed to have angered muslims who attacked the office and the editor of the newspaper. The editor had to later apologise. Tharoor mentions that even if the article was never intended to refer to Prophet Mohammad, the editor should have been careful enough to avoid misinterpretation and should have been aware that this would cause trouble. Sure, the victim of the violent attacks was wrong and should be the one to apologise. That is freedom of speech according to Tharoor.

2. In the second instance with reference to the Danish cartoons issue, Tharoor continues the same argument. That the Danish paper/cartoonist would have known well the publication of the cartoon would cause a world wide backlash and should have resisted going ahead with it and exercised restraint. Tharoor strongly maintains that free speech/expression should not be used to hurt anyone. I suppose nobody told this scholar that “consensus” does not require a freedom of speech law.

3. It’s the third issue that is striking. The discussion moves to the M.F. Hussain paintings. Here’s where our happy-tongue minister reveals his true self. He argues strongly that it was Hussain’s freedom of expression for which he should not have faced a backlash. Well, obviously Hussain was so blissfully ignorant that his controversial paintings would cause friction or offend a whole community. It needed Mr.Happy-tongue to defend him. But that newspaper editor and the Danish cartoonist shouldn’t have exercised their free expression rights as they would have been aware of the consequences. And that’s not all. Tharoor goes on to state that Hussain paints these Hindu Gods in various forms. That Hussain had once painted Indira Gandhi as Durga Ma ! Tharoor equates painting Indira Gandhi as Durga Ma to nude paintings of Hindu Gods. Even a moron can see that the Indira Gandhi painting would be seen as a compliment rather than an offence. This is how he misleads international audiences with his happy-tongue glib talk.

In the long line of hypocrites who crawl under that stone called Congress, this happy-tongue is the latest acquisition. And to think this man actually wanted to be the Secretary-General of the UN. I have a suggestion, he could always seek that office in the OIC.

Update (Dec 6. 2011): The Youtube links provided above seem to have been removed. You can follow the debate at the new link HERE. That is the first part of 9, follow the page for the remaining parts.

“India rejected me” ? : Do some math, Mr. M.F. Hussain

Dear Mr. Hussain,

Your statement “India rejected me…” is all over the place today. Newspapers, websites are full of it. I strongly believe your thoughts are seriously misplaced. Over the years India has accommodated many refugees, many invaders, many crooks so why would India reject you? You’re neither an ideology nor a threat to be rejected.

In plain simple terms it is you who has rejected India and have been a fugitive for some years now. Aren’t you aware that there are thousands of politicians, crooks, terrorists, rapists and corrupt officials who have over a trillion cases against them and they still live here happily. And, if any Indian government was serious enough to prosecute you they would have vigorously taken up extradition proceedings with countries you lived in. Did they do that ? I don’t think so.

And where did you get these numbers from? “Only 10%..are against me…” Are you really aware what 10% in India means ? That’s well over 100 million people. That is bigger than many countries on this planet. Of course, there aren’t that many people in the political and other organizations that you mention. And again you claim 90% people are with you. If that is true then what are your fears ?

I don’t know if you observe Indian media but there are people like Shobhaa De, Barkha Dutt, Sharmila Tagore and many more who have supported you in the media. NDTV even ran a program calling it “A national shame” that you are going to be a Qatar citizen.

So what are your fears ?

Are you afraid of the RSS or any right-wing group killing you? If that was to really happen you wouldn’t have lived till 95, and may you be blessed with many more years. These groups protest many issues and people but with all your wealth, fame, fortune and government support you were always secure. As a person who has achieved public prominence you should expect such criticism, protests if you create work that in anyway offends the sentiments of a segment of the public.

Are you afraid of our courts ? : Indian courts are not very speedy but among new democracies they are the best in the world and our courts cannot be bullied by politicians or any groups. And because they aren’t speedy the advantage was that they wouldn’t have decided those cases against you for another 95 years. What are you afraid of ?

The 90% people who you claim support you actually don’t give a damn about you or many such figures like you. They have a hard time earning their livelihood to be bothered about you and your friends in the media. Ask your friends in the media to conduct an honest poll and I can assure you 90% people wouldn’t even know who you are, and they don’t give a ****. So stop fooling yourself and fooling others.

You are also reported to have stated “Now Qatar is my place. Here no one controls my freedom of expression” Sure, I am convinced no one represents “freedom” more than the Islamic part of the planet.

I am a Hindu and I really don’t give a damn what you painted or what your transgressions were and I would never file a case against you.. No country in the world is so forgiving as your former motherland. You lived in the UK, a country of greater free speech than ours but even that country didn’t allow a documentary film show in their parliament called “Fitna” by Dutch parliamentarian Geert Wilders. (Shown only much later in the House of Lords) If you claim your works were free expressions of an artist, then “Fitna” was a non-fiction documentary made by him based on excerpts from the Koran. Please watch that and tell us if you would condone that. Fact of the matter is you could paint all those nude pictures and images of Bharatmata because most of us tolerated your crap.

I am also sure that with your wealth you would have received adequate legal advice on whether you broke any law by painting those pictures. In all probability your counselors may have advised that you have indeed broken some laws and that is probably the BIGGEST FEAR you have. I challenge you to deny this.

So stop acting like a wimp and stop blaming India or any of her people. I would also like you to make a strong public statement that your “conscience is clean” which I doubt it is. If it was, you wouldn’t be running all over. I wish you happiness in Qatar and please don’t bother India anymore.

MF HUSSAIN : A NATIONAL SHAME, NDTV

I had expected that today (Sunday) the topic for "We the people" with Barkha Dutt on NDTV would have to be something concerning M.F. Hussain.  It was,  and not surprisingly, the program title was also "A National Shame"

I quite agree with the title except that I'd apply it to M.F. Hussain and call him a "A National shame". No matter who you are, what you are and what your accomplishments are if you remain a fugitive from your own country then you are indeed a national shame. 

That Hussain painted Hindu idols in a gross manner and offended many Hindus is not even a serious issue with me, he can continue doing that from Qatar.  But the fact that he avoided and ignored summons from a Court of this land is a serious criminal offence.

Barkha Dutt and NDTV need to understand that the law of the land is above everyone else. It flows from our Constitution and no one is bigger than our constitution. One participant went to the extent of saying "only art critics should judge an artist"! Someone should remind him its not art critics who pay millions for an artist's work.

Now that Qatar has opened its doors to Hussain lets rejoice and say "good riddance".