Return Of The Comedy King

No matter how dirty politics get, there’s always someone to cheer you up.  Since January 30 Anna Hazare is back in action with his agitation and I’m sure everyone remembers his speech at the Jaipur Chintan Shivir of Congress. It’s just that the speech blasting Congress and the govt was delivered and enacted by Rahul Gandhi. It was like another of those regular ‘filmy Rahuls’ emoting on screen from a script. I affectionately call that the ‘Badminton speech’. Let me recap some highlights from that speech. Or on the other hand, why should I expend my words? I will allow the Numero Uno political analyst to do it for us and his tweets on January 20 summarise it quite well:

There! Rajdeep’s tweets say it all. RahulG had Rajdeep ‘hmmm-ing’ all through his speech. It’s hard to tell if Rajdeep was hmmm-ing in delight or pooh-poohing in contempt at RG’s hypocrisy. One will never know the mysterious ways of Rajdeep. Doesn’t matter! If we needed full clarity on the speech all we have to do is turn to our Power-Puff girls from the MSM. They were like teenagers again swooning over the latest Bollywood sensation. Take a look at the tweets of Pallavi Ghosh, Sagarika Ghose and Barkha Dutt.

The first is an embedded reporter with the Congress, the second is a Social Genius and the third is as loquacious an anchor as she likes to call others. Imagine, around 300 journalists were ferried to Jaipur, put up in hotels and dined and wined and they are the ones who claim to bring “news” to you. Normal courtesies like a drink or food after a presser is understandable but a whole sponsored trip? Naturally, some channels were echoing the Congress members’ view that RahulG’s speech was an “Obama moment”. Where in the world will you find such shamelessness? If anything, the badminton speech brought out RahulG as a hollow hypocrite as much as the hypocrites in the MSM. And true to his comic genius, after the speech he disappears and surfaces only to return to his normal comedian role. Once he went back to his comedy our Powder-Puff girls had their mouths and twitter accounts zipped again. The loquacious one quickly moved on to some gentle pencil pushing. Here’s how Barkha Dutt does it in her article in Hindustan Times on February 1 called “With friends like these”. Let’s read a bit.

“For political journalists, reporting on the BJP - with its loquacious leaders, open dissent and camp warfare - can often be much more interesting and lively than covering the more tightly-controlled, top-down power structure and exasperatingly opaque style of the Congress. What makes it especially challenging is that in the BJP nothing is necessarily as it seems. Take some statements too literally and you may find yourself on a political tangent”.

Hmm! So nothing is as it seems she says. Why should it be? NDTV doesn’t have any “sources” in the BJP to feed them titbits, like they have “reliable sources” in the Congress? Oh BTW, the gentle ridicule of the loquacious leaders is highly interesting and lively. Right! And the Congress is opaque and exasperating. Somewhat like the Vatican, isn’t it? But hey, who’s your darling, who’s your sweetheart? The one that has no democratic system in the party is acceptable to the MSM. The party that has a president for over a decade without change with members behaving like slaves is acceptable to the MSM. But noooooo! The party that is more democratic like our own noisy democracy and parliament is the one that is at war. If you don’t read the article with a magnifying glass you would miss the gentle scorn. Here’s more:

“Just this week, Yashwant Sinha, freshly satisfied with the dramatic, last-minute ouster of Nitin Gadkari…  said to me that if Manmohan Singh could be prime minister then as a bureaucrat with a bent for economics, Sinha, should be seen as someone with the requisite qualifications for the top job as well. But then he went on to argue that it wasn't a curriculum vitae but charisma that would win the day and in that context, there was only one man - Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi - who fits the bill. Now, was Sinha pitching for the Gujarat CM or queering the pitch for him with the remote-controllers in the RSS who are known to dislike Modi's assertion of political autonomy”?

Incidentally, that’s the first time I’m seeing Barkha address Modi as “Gujarat CM Narendra Modi”. (I could be wrong though). Note closely how the “charisma” comment is subtly used to dub Modi as merely “charisma” and nothing more. If Sinha’s statement were to be dissected properly the right thing to tell him would be that he was wrong on that part too, at least where current PM MMS is concerned. To even suggest that ‘charisma’ has anything remotely connected to MMS being PM is like connecting fragrance and great perfumes to a skunk. And then, was Sinha pitching for Modi or queering the pitch? The only one who seems to be queering the pitch here seems to be Barkha and no one else. Where’s the devil? Aha! Barkha could have asked Sinha to clarify the “charisma” bit since she had done the interview. But no! Instead, she dissects her own interview with him to suit her own persuasions. Clever, isn’t that?

As far as Modi is concerned, sure he may have charisma. But more than that, he also has a record of governance and performance. His speeches are backed by sound thinking, political timing and weight, and he possesses great presence of mind. I doubt Barkha can say that about MMS or RahulG. After all, RahulG is the undeclared PM candidate of the Congress. Then Barkha also suggests there are “faultlines” in BJP in her article. Yes, we all know she sees faultlines everywhere. It’s her favourite word. Wasn’t she going to write a book about India’s faultlines too? Wonder what happened to that, maybe double-fault (line)! But our MSM believes in “creationism” rather than the “evolution” they so valiantly attempt. Unfortunately for them RahulG opened his mouth without a script and gave enough proof that he is still work-in-progress. Watch a video of his interaction with students last week (1.49mins, also on Youtube):

Haha! “You’ve gotta stop asking your politicians how they’re gonna do it and start asking yourself how YOU’RE gonna do it because that’s how this country is going to move forward”. Well, nobody told the fearless leader that he is occupying a chair for the exact reason of answering questions from students. But then in the absence of clarity of thinking, this is the answer you get. Evolution! Another student asks him “how one can help tiny tots who can’t write a line about benefits of internet”? To this, our evolutionary leader asks a counter question “how can YOU help them”? The student starts to answer: “As a citizen I can….” And the brilliant RahulG interrupts and says “not as a citizen but as a young Indian”. Voila! There goes the badminton speech! Except for some stray channel the rest skipped reporting this not-so-badminton episode. So, just as RahulG sees two Indias all the time, now he sees two people; Citizens and Young Indians. Woe to the young Indians who aren’t considered citizen by him. I wonder if they will still be able to vote. Then RG gets into a Bimboesque argument with the student to laughter from the entire crowd.

It didn’t stop there. On the “Akash” Tablet, RG went on to say that they should ask questions to the gentleman responsible for it and not him. Yeah! What exactly is RahulG responsible for? That’s what none of our media morons who fall at his feet can tell. That’s the kind of leadership RahulG demonstrates that the Congress and our Powder Puff girls really admire and so deeply love.  I guess our Powder Puff girls can’t see what those young students can see. They really had a good laugh. Someone did say: “Young hearts run free”. Even the late JFK must be rolling in laughter in his grave over his quote being so brutally twisted and tortured.

Like I said in the beginning, no matter how dirty politics might get there is always someone to clown around and cheer you up. Earlier there was Laloo and the likes of him. After his Badminton speech, over which the MSM rolled over like poodles, RahulG has truly returned to being the comedy king. And this is the charismatic PM that our MSM bets on. Who can complain about their intelligence, eh?

India Rendered Incapable of Fighting Terror

The sentencing of David Headley in the 26/11 case by a Chicago court had Arnab Goswami up in verbal arms on January 25. He and his news channel went into a fit of hysteria screaming “America let us down” by not extraditing Headley to India for a trial. Arnab and TimesNow showered a hail of criticism on the US just stopping short of calling that country an enemy. Elsewhere, Salman Khurshid, the EAM, stated that if Headley were extradited to India he would have received a more stringent punishment. I had to laugh at this moronic statement coming from a man who once said: "When Sonia Gandhi saw pictures of the Batla House encounter, she had tears in her eyes”. He made this statement during an election campaign at Azamgarh, home to the terrorists killed at Batla House, before the UP elections of 2012. In another place where a ‘Littering’ festival is being held, bimbo panellist Suhel Seth condemned the move to deny some Pakistanis visas to attend this year’s Jaipur Litterfest as “reprehensible”. Mind you, the organiser of the festival, Sanjoy Roy, denies the Pakistanis were invited to speak and suggests they may be attending as visitors and not as invitees. A day after this month’s beheading incident at the LOC, Minister Shashi Tharoor was moderating an “Aman ki asha” debate with film actors and journalists from India and Pakistan. Do you think the US should have really extradited Headley to be handled by a bunch of jokers in this country?

A few days earlier Home Minister Sushil Shinde made the most atrocious statement at the Congress party’s Chintan Shivir at Jaipur: "Reports have come during investigation that BJP and RSS conduct terror training camps to spread terrorism..” adding that they stoked “Hindu terror”. This is not some off the cuff remark or a blooper. This was a carefully crafted speech. If indeed BJP is conducting terror training camps why is the party not banned? Why is such a party allowed to contest elections and have representatives in various Assemblies and also the Parliament? While our media morons debated Shinde’s Hindu terror comment they conveniently buried his comment about BJP and RSS promoting terrorism through their camps. In other words, the HM of this country called some of his colleagues in parliament “terror sponsors”. This is the grave danger of his moronery. It shouldn’t bother us much that “Shri” Hafeez Saeed picked up Shinde’s statement to demand declaring India a “terrorist state”. “Shri” Hafeez naturally finds a friend in Shinde and the Congress party.

It is not that all this load of rubbish that needs to be debated. But typically, our media folks even debate such nonsensical statements which deserve nothing but outright condemnation. And then jokers like Arnab Goswami and Rajdeep Sardesai, who truly belong in a circus, debate the sentencing of David Headley. The US is not foolish to hand over terror suspects to a country like India where the killers of Rajiv Gandhi or the late CM Beant Singh are being protected by politicians. The US is not going to hand over Headley to a country where the Congress is protecting the terrorist who plotted the attack on our own parliament. The US is not going to hand over a terrorist to a country which has shown remarkable unwillingness to combat terrorism and prosecute terrorists.

The Congress govt at the centre has been in permanent denial over the true nature of terrorism. Wilfully so! This denial comes from the fountain of Indian history that denies that religious terrorism was brought to this country from Islamic invasions. Some of the brutal invaders are glorified by the communist historians who are natural allies of the Congress. Islamic terrorism had conquered much of Europe as well. Hinduism has such no such history of religious terrorism. The cases that Shinde cited; Samjhauta Express, Malegaon and Mecca Masjid are all spurious at best. S. Gurumurthy cites the record and background of these cases and how they are being muddied for political reasons in his article in the NIE. If at all some Hindus were involved in these attacks it still doesn’t make out a case for “Hindu terror” just as the Godhra train burning is not classified as an act of terror. And there is nothing that stops the govt from prosecuting and punishing those behind the cases Shinde refers to. Fact is, a few Hindus were arrested and no cases are being prosecuted. I am not sure there is even a valid charge sheet filed against those arrested in these cases.

I wonder how many people recall that after the July 2011 attacks in Mumbai PM Manmohan Singh had grandly stated that the terrorists “had the advantage of surprise”. Then Home Minister P. Chidambaram had stated that absence of intelligence is “not intelligence failure”. Do you seriously expect these people to be able to combat terrorism? Unfortunate truth is that India simply doesn’t have a policy on terrorism or how to combat it. Currently, SoniaG’s tears can decide what or who constitutes terrorism or does not. That’s our policy.

The American politicians, men and uniform are sworn in under an oath to serve and protect their nation from all enemies, foreign and domestic. The 9/11 attacks weren’t the first on the World Trade Center. Eight years prior in 1993 the WTC was bombed and the attackers were arrested, prosecuted and sentenced. The US since then has been regularly notifying terrorist organisations. Of the current list of 51 terrorist organisations named by the US State Department around 14 have some connection with attacks on India as the image below shows:

The media screams about Headley. The Indian govt begs and relies on the US to notify groups as terror organisations. Well, I don’t find the BJP and RSS in this list. Does Shinde, Digvijay or Congress find them? Not surprisingly, the only group with the name “Indian” tagged to it is Indian Mujahideen. Now, we can choose to believe this has nothing to do with religion and nothing to do with Islam. We can also choose to live in denial that members of IM don’t swear on the Quran to carry out their terrorists acts. Shinde’s admirers from LeT, JeM are also in the list. An MP who threatens “Muslim radicalisation” from the floor of the parliament also has friends like Hamas or Hizballah in the list.

The practice of minority appeasement has gone so far that they now even dictate who will be invited to our Litterfests. They will decide what movies can be screened or banned. In Bangalore the Kamal Hassan movie “Vishwaroopam” was interrupted midway as the police didn’t want to offend Muslims because of Eid-e-Milad. Nobody even knows or asks what exactly will not offend them anymore. They will decide what articles can be printed and what books can be published. And our govt watches all of this. In the documentary titled Fitna, Dutch MP Geert Wilders shows girls as young as 3 or 4 being taught to hate non-Muslims by their family, especially to hate Jews. This image currently circulating on the internet shows kids carrying posters seeking slaughter of those insulting Islam. What community asks kids to march with such posters? And these people in the rally certainly don’t look like Hondurans or citizens of Greenland.

If terrorism is a universal phenomenon and if at all there is universal agreement that there is religious terrorism then it doesn’t take an Einstein to find out what the colour of that terrorism is or members of which religion indulge in it. It’s only the Indian govt, particularly the Congress party that is still sleeping. Along with the Congress party we have deceptive liars and idiots in the MSM who neither possess any intelligence nor the willingness to speak the truth about terrorism. Well, I’m not so surprised about our media folks because many of them are funded directly or indirectly by ISI money and many others sleep with our enemies. Many of our media folks qualify to be “domestic enemies” who enjoy luxuries with funds provided by known enemies.

So when an idiot like Arnab Goswami and other media celebs go into a spin demanding Headley be extradited, patriotic Indians should say “No, Thank you”! Whatever Headley’s sentence maybe he will serve it for most of the rest of his life unless an appeal overturns or reduces it. The Americans take the killing of even one of their citizens anywhere very seriously. As for Indians they can die in any Bazar, at the LOC, at the high seas or any corner of the world. Nobody gives a shit! Certainly not a bunch of morons who are still debating the colour of terror. Most certainly not if the ruling party’s Boss is shedding tears over dead terrorists and Union Ministers believe that will get them votes.  

Anna Hazare's Speech At Chintan Shivir - Jaipur

The former army driver and prominent social activist, Anna Hazare, made an appearance at the Congress Chintan Shivir at Jaipur on January 20. We have come to know Anna to campaign for better governance, a Lokpal bill and empowering the people, especially the poor. He has also frequently made appeals to make Gram Panchayats have a more influential role in governance. I would like to quote some statements verbatim. Note: While I quote verbatim I had to correct a few grammatical errors that were in the original text. (Quotes in blue and are numbered for reference)

1) The voices of the billion Indians are today that they want to greater say in government, in politics and in administration. This can’t be decided by hand full of people behind closed doors who are not fully accountable to them. They are telling us that India’s governmental system is stuck in the past it is become a system that robs people of their voice, a system that dis-empowers instead of empowering. But why we are in this situation, why is it I ask you, that our ministries do the work of Panchayats.

2) Why is it that the Supreme Court handles the load of lower houses of justice?

3) Power is grossly centralized in our country we only empower people at the top of a system. We

don’t believe in empowering people all the way to bottom. Every single day I meet people who

have tremendous understanding deep insight and no voice and all of us meet them, they are very

where. But almost always they are kept outside ours systems, no one can their voice, no matter

how much they try to speak no one listens. And then I meet people holding high positions with

tremendous voice but no understanding for the issues at hand.

4) Why is our youth angry... why are they out on the street...? They are angry because they

are alienated… They are excluded from the political class. They watch from the side-lines... as

the powerful drive around in their Lal Battis… Why are the women suffering... because their

voice is being trampled upon by people who have arbitrary powers over their lives. Why are the

poor confined to powerlessness and poverty...

5) RTI allows every single Indian to personally take on the battle against corruption.

6) People who are corrupt stand up and talk about eradicating corruption… and then people

who disrespect women everyday over day of their life… talk about women rights.

I could go on and on but I’m sure you can search online for the full text of the speech and read it on many sites. So what was the response to Anna’s speech? Predictably, NDTV, CNN-IBN and all similar channels were singing praises like they were Lady Gaga themselves. Well, as you guessed, the speech was harsh and slamming the govt and the Congress party for all their ills. This social champion had specially descended from heaven or flown down from United Nations to offer his expert observations on all that is ailing India. One newspaper, Free Press Journal, though didn’t seem to agree with the Barkhas, Sagarikas, Pallavis and Chaubejis:

Only a dimwit would be fooled about the real objective of the Jaipur Shivir. The entire charade was enacted to serenade the Congress’s not-so-young Prince. All else was peripheral to the exercise. Mani Shankar Aiyar, who otherwise makes much to-do about being a modern intellectual, did not see anything wrong in beseeching Rahul Gandhi to take his `rightful place’ at the head of the party.

Well, well, the speech that Rahul Gandhi gave could have come from any activist agitating at Jantar Mantar. Even Arvind Kejriwal could have given this speech. It seems all these years Rahul Gandhi was neither part of the Congress nor handling any issue related to the govt that he criticises. A man whose record of even the minor routine of attending parliament is dubious to say the least is now talking from a written script about what ails govt, our systems and the party. Shameless sycophants like Jairam Ramesh and Mani Shankar Aiyar then call his speech an “Obama moment”. Two people echoing the same statement is clearly a well thought out sound-bite for the media after the speech. Our local hero, who is mostly abroad, has nothing to show for his life except showing up once in a while here and there. The only other achievement in his life is probably being born in the Gandhi family.

The choreography was even better. He gives his speech like a college boy driven by idealism and Sheila Dikshit is moved enough to hug him and kiss Sonia Gandhi’s hand. There’s nothing wrong there. What exactly was the substance of the speech? Nothing really! The whole exercise of the so called Chintan Shivir was not to accept drawbacks, crimes and improve but glorify the Gandhis again and make the elevation of RahulG to VP some celestial event. Their spokie comes out and declares RahulG is now No.2 in the party. If the media and other Congress members really thought that called for a statement then I don’t think I can imagine bigger idiots on earth. When was the Gandhi less than No.2 or No.1 anyway? Like it or not Priyanka Vadra, (who becomes Gandhi when needed) is any day No.3 so maybe these guys will hold another ceremony for her someday.

Sure, the playing badminton with Indira Gandhi’s guards, deaths in the family provides an emotional touch and tear-jerking for some. But what was the context or relevance other than emotional appeal for his own party members? Weren’t they already slaves anyway? All the numbered quotes reflect on evils that have been brought about by none other than the Congress party itself. Let’s take it point-wise on his quotes:

1) He talks about people running systems behind closed doors. Has he ever looked at his own PM? MMS is a guy who even runs his press meetings behind closed doors. What kind of PM does that? RahulG himself is a pathetic hide and seek player who invited the press to a secret breakfast meet during the UP election campaign in March 2012. Who exactly is hiding behind closed doors?

2)  If the SC handles lower courts issues it’s simply because unless the SC is moved the corrupt ministers in the Congress and UPA don’t seem to be prosecuted by natural law. Even today, most of the corrupt from the party are gleefully in top positions and free. Is it any surprise the speech could have been drafted for Anna Hazare?

3) Youth is angry? They’re out on streets? Well, where were you hiding when they were out during the Lokpal agitation? Where were you when they were agitating over the Delhi Gangrape incident? Where do you normally celebrate your birthdays while your faithful slaves cut the cake and feed it to your posters? Why are women suffering? What happened to Kalawati, probably the only woman you ever met and promised to solve her problems? Why are women molested and raped right under your own nose in Delhi? Any answers? You’re lucky that the 300 journalists you ferried to Jaipur and paid for their hotel and food aren’t going to ask you these questions. You’re lucky none of your sycophants are going to ask you these questions.

4) RTI battles corruption? Okay, let us know why your own travel information is not being revealed for years against RTI applications. Let us know why travel expense information of SoniaG is not being revealed under RTI. Who is going to answer for the strange and curious deals and funds over the National Herald that you and Sonia Gandhi are directly involved in? Will a lower court handle it or will it again take the Supreme Court?

5) People who are corrupt are talking about eradicating corruption? Which people? Did you take a closer look at some among those who applauded you or hugged you? This Congress-UPA govt has come to be known as the most corrupt govt ever in the history of Indian democracy. You or Sonia Gandhi are angels and have nothing to answer for? All this is “some other people”? Bravo!

That gentle touch of playing badminton or Mom coming into the room and crying is fine. Rediff reports that Priyanka Vadra parachuted into Jaipur and altered the script in the speech to accommodate these emotional lines. Really nice! If one were to ask some intelligent men and women in the Congress to speak the truth I have no doubts they will admit that Rahul Gandhi is no leader material but they have no choice but to use the Gandhi name for votes. Nothing less, nothing more! And this guy wants to develop others as leaders. This guy who has lived a life bloopers so far. Someone who calls voters “beggars” and even clarifies that it’s not metaphor. On the same day as this speech, Sushil Shinde made the most stupid speech about “Hindu terror”. At the heart of the Congress, such men who hate Hindus are the ministers. Chintan indeed! I’m not sure if Justice Katju is right in calling 90% Indians fools, but I’m damn sure the Congress definitely thinks so.

Lastly, “I woke up this morning in the night, it was dark outside and I found I was writing this post last night. It was an emotional moment”. If you’re a follower of Rahul Gandhi, that is not very hard to do.