Barkha Darwin: Evolving The Gandhi - Part 2

The wife constantly nagged him for being a thorough idiot. Not surprisingly his name was Buddhuram. She frequently kept hearing of other men reciting poems at the King’s court and winning gold coins while her husband never won anything. One fine day she forced him to write a poem and win some coins else there won’t be any food for him, she threatened. So B goes out to drown himself and fails but observes Kalia the Crow that is dipping its beak into the water and then sharpening its beak against a stone. And voila, poetry strikes him: “Oh Kalia, I can read your mind, you sharpen it again and again and you dip it in water. Oh Kalia I can read your mind”. As he recites the poem in the King’s court everyone laughs but the King believes there has to be a real deep meaning in what Buddhuram recited and awards him a few gold coins. Read this old and hilarious Indian folk tale here. Sometimes, the King or Queen does recognise even garbage as profound brilliance to look and sound intelligent. Well, that Indian folktale does continue in different forms in our modern MSM where garbage passes off as brilliance. And yes, there are gold coins too.

Buddhuram came up with the Kalia story innocently without any intention of making other poets look like idiots. But, as with narcs, Barkha Dutt is frequently tempted to enlighten the world on something she sees that other idiot journos cannot. Most people may not remember, but sometime in February 2011 the PM decided to have a live conference with top editors. They discussed this and that and Arnab Goswami, in particular, was pulled up by Harish Khare then media advisor to the PM. Most discussions were on domestic issues but Barkha felt ‘Domestic concerns were distractions’ and all the idiotic journos at the conference failed to discuss Pakistan. Yeah, if she were there she would have brought up Pakistan. Wouldn’t she? So on June 11, 2012 Barkha put on her Gambler Hat and tweeted this:

“My wager for 2014. It will not be a Narendra Modi Vs Rahul Gandhi face-off. Neither, in my assessment, will be a PM candidate”. Right, so most other journos can’t see what she can. Umm.. just like “Oh Kalia, I can read your mind”!

Oh Kalia! (Do watch out for the Beast)

“In the parlour games that often masquerade as punditry in India's political capital, there is already frenzied betting on who will be the contenders for 2014. Despite the fact that every media cliché - 'litmus test' to 'make or break' - has been exhausted while debating Rahul Gandhi's performance in Uttar Pradesh, most political gamblers believe that irrespective of the outcome in the state, the Congress general secretary will be the party's prime ministerial candidate”. No, that’s not the report of an independent observer from the United Nations. That’s our very own Barkha Dutt’s “Oh Kalia” moment”. Of course, Barkha isn’t part of the parlours where our pundits parade. She, like the profound Buddhuram, can see what others can’t.

In the context of her tweet that I quoted above she refers to her article “PMs not in waiting” of March 12, 2012 in, where else, but Hindustan Trolls (HT). So there we go, Barkha Darwin is about to evolve Rahul Gandhi again. She can read his mind and that of the Congress. Now, I recommend you read the first part: “NDTV – Evolving the Gandhi”, in case you haven’t already, where in a show Barkha tried to evolve Gandhi as a great politician who will thrash every other party in UP.

Let’s read further:

“Gandhi has made the Youth Congress his laboratory to experiment with what he has often called a new brand of politics. What remains unclear is whether the mobilisation of numbers under the Youth Congress will have any impact on the electoral prospects of the parent party. But this is where his personal focus is centred on Uttar Pradesh - to create an organisational structure that can challenge regional forces like Mayawati's BSP and Mulayam Singh Yadav's Samajwadi Party…..  In many ways, the experiment mirrors the social engineering model perfected by Nitish Kumar in Bihar, in terms of going beyond the political loyalties of dominant caste groups to build a new structure from the disadvantaged and the marginalised of all these groups”.  Hmm! All that stuff is so easy to understand when Barkha explains it. I wish RG would explain his strategies and tactics as simply as she does. As for Youth Congress numbers, they are indeed having an impact as the million plus numbers in Tamil Nadu have already shown. And Uttar Pradesh? RG did challenge the forces of Mayawati and Mulayam and was exonerated for his failures due to absence of organisational structures. So Barkha reads his mind on that one again – Now RG will evolve as the organisation builder rather than as a PM candidate. Fantastic!

“When the moment of reckoning comes in 2014, you may well find Rahul Gandhi apply the same philosophy to the national stage. He has often said that the issue of who will be PM is a media obsession. But reading between the lines, one gets the distinct impression that Gandhi may opt to focus all his energies on a long-term revamp of the Congress from within, seeking to revitalise and rebuild its structural weaknesses. In other words, 2014 may not be his personal milestone to fight as a prime ministerial candidate”. Oh yeah, if only I could read and understand what RG says as Barkha does. And yes, RG won’t make 2014 a personal milestone of any sort just as he didn’t appear to make UP 2012 a personal milestone. She quotes: “He has often said that issue of who will be PM is a media obsession”. Damn! RG must have whispered that in Barkha’s ears because I have never heard that from him. Or maybe Barkha is seeing and hearing what others can’t like Buddhuram with ‘Oh Kalia’.

And Barkha finally adds: “And the political pundits may well have to imagine another face-off to keep themselves entertained”. Indeed, we may have to find someone else. The honest truth is: Rahul Gandhi doesn’t even seem to be any kind of match for Narendra Modi. It will take Barkha Darwin a huge effort to evolve him to some level of maturity. Till then, like Buddhuram, she and only she, can read Kalia’s mind.